February 1, 2021
Although it’s claimed that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the light, religion sure does have a way of fucking up your life.
Atheist and agnostic Bible scholars, scientists, and historians have done phenomenal work in taking a critical look at the supernatural and historical claims of the Bible and Christian faith and debunking them.
However, what I’ve noticed is often overlooked are the ways religion damages the practical aspects of your life. Ceasing to believe in supernatural dogma is the first step of deconstruction, but if that was all that was required, then deconstruction would be easy.
But deconstruction isn’t easy at all. Why is this? Because the Church has also dug its snares into the practical aspects of your life. The Church didn’t just lie to you about dogma; it also lied to you about how to live your life successfully and in a way that is meaningful for you.
The challenge comes when detangling yourself from this misinformation and rebuilding your life from the ground up in a way that is more authentic to you.
I discuss this process in great detail in my book. There, I identified 7 areas of life that round out the experience of most individuals, describe how the Church hijacks these life areas from you, and then explain how to rebuild them after deconverting from your religion.
Here is a rundown on those 7 areas of life and how fundamentalist religion damages them.
Your Money
The worst churches financially abuse and scam their members out of their money. They solicit donations for “prophecies” and healings and sell products (i.e. miracle spring water and prayer handkerchiefs) that they claim contain God’s healing power.
Less insidious churches are still misguided in their teachings, often encouraging you to avoid money because Jesus was poor or to remain in jobs that don’t pay you enough because “God led you there.”
For more in depth detail about how religion damages your financial life, read this article.
Your Health
Fundamentalists often surrender every aspect of their health to God. For this reason, they neglect their health with poor diets and limited exercise, thinking that their injuries, sicknesses, and eventual death are already predetermined by God.
The most damaging sects of fundamentalism outright forbid all health care for their members, even to young children.
For more in depth detail about how religion damages your health, read this article.
Your Family
Fundamentalists place a lot of emphasis on the family unit. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing—family is important and strong families can be quite healthy. However, this poses a huge issue if your family is very religious and you then deconvert from the religion they raised you in.
This potentially results in a fallout with your religious family. This could manifest in many different ways, ranging from rude passive-aggressive comments about your disbelief to disowning you entirely. Your deconversion could unfairly leave you without a strong family to rely upon.
If you have your own family (spouse and kids) then it can cause confusion and hurt feelings all around, especially if you indoctrinated your young children as they were growing up or you promised your wife you’d always be a strong spiritual head of the household.
For more in depth detail about how religion damages your family, read this article and this article.
Your Social Life
In the Church, your circle of friends were very similar to you, if not exactly the same. Your social circle very likely had the same beliefs as you, had the same lifestyle as you, and may even have been of the same socio-economic status.
This severely limits your capacity to grow and learn from others who have had different experiences from your own.
For more in depth detail about how religion damages your social life, read this article.
Your Hobbies
The Church expects that your gifts and talents—the things that allow you to express yourself—should all be used to “glorify God.” Whether you make films, play music, write books—it doesn’t matter. All of it should be good and wholesome and glorifying.
This severely limits the ways you can express and entertain yourself and takes away all the credibility you deserve for mastering one or multiple hobbies.
For more in depth detail about how religion damages your hobbies, read this article.
Your Relationships
Your dating and romantic relationships outside the context of fundamentalist religion will look a lot different than the relationships you had within the Church.
This is a good thing because you’ll meet more interesting and free-thinking partners who can really enrich your life. However, you may have to spend a lot of time unlearning the things you internalized about relationships in the Church. You may also have to spend some time getting comfortable with your own sexuality.
For more in depth detail about how religion damages your relationships, read this article.
Your Spirituality
Fundamentalist religion has all the answers. They know where the universe came from, they know the best way to live life, they know the meaning of life, and they know with certainty what happens after you die.
This one-dimensionality leaves a lot of the most intriguing and flavorful aspects of the human experience unexplored and disregarded.
For more in depth detail about how religion damages your spirituality, read this article.
Which life area or areas was most affected by your time in religion? How did you rebuild it after you deconstructed? Let me know in the comments!