January 13, 2022
Some time ago I came across the Japanese concept of Kaizen, which when translated into English essentially means “continuous improvement.”
The philosophy, at its core, means adopting a mindset of small, incremental improvements throughout your life. Over time, these small changes add up in a big way. By making small changes only, you’re a lot more likely to stick with them. If you’ve tried to take on too many big goals at once and you gave up on them because it was all too overwhelming, then you know how hard it can be to stick to a goal.
New Years Resolutions are a good example of goal-setting that goes against the Kaizen philosophy. On December 31st, you state that come the new year, you’re going to start going to the gym three times a week, eating healthy 95% of the time, you’re going to drink less alcohol, you’re going to give up coffee, and you’re going to travel to three new countries.
Is it any surprise when all of these New Years Resolutions go off the rails by mid-February? It’s too much change all at once—hardly sustainable for any person.
The Japanese understand that positive change works best when introduced gradually and over time. In the moment, it may feel like you’re being lazy and unambitious to only make a small change on any given day, especially if your energy is high and you’re feeling good and ready to take on more. But it’s best in the long-run to let these things take time.
Why I am bringing this up on this blog? Because I believe Kaizen is a valuable philosophy for anyone going through a painful deconstruction of their faith.
I’ve written before on this blog and in my book that leaving religion is a lot more than simply ceasing to believe in dogma and supernatural deities. A faith deconstruction affects the practical aspects of your life as well. Like many others, when I deconstructed, my entire life and world was turned upside down. All seven of my life areas were damaged in one way or another, some more than others.
After the anger phase was over and I’d come to terms that I needed to proceed through the rest of my life without religion, I quickly realized I needed to rebuild the practical aspects of my life in a way that I wanted them to be, not in a way that was dictated to me by a pastor or the Bible.
When it comes to rebuilding something as huge as your entire life, Kaizen is probably the best way to do it. One bit at a time.
One clear example of this is how, after my faith deconstruction, I decided to start taking my physical health much more seriously. I came to the sharp realization that since God did not exist, he was not protecting my body from illness and injury so that he could end my life at a predetermined moment only defined by him. No, my health was entirely up to me. I started hitting the gym and lifting weights. As anyone who lifts weights knows, really the only way to improve is with the Kaizen method—small incremental changes. That is, small incremental additions of weight to the bar. You physically cannot get too ambitious with this because if you add too much weight too soon, you won’t be able to lift it at all, meaning you don’t actually get a workout.
Another area of my life where I used Kaizen was in improving my mental health. Since the body and mind are inextricably linked, I realized that if I were going to make continuous improvement with my body, I also needed to do the same with my mind. I’d never seen a therapist before, and I was a little unsure of how to proceed, what it would entail, or what to even do.
Although it may seem like faster is better when it comes to mental health, that isn’t necessarily the case. It might seem efficient to look up a therapist, book an appointment, and go spill your guts to them all on the same day. But that would be overwhelming for pretty much anyone.
So what did I do? After making the decision to hire a therapist, my one item of improvement for the week was to simply look up some local therapists online. That was it. Just browse some names, read some articles they’d written if available, check out their prices, and just contemplate on the options and just sit with them for a while.
Eventually I narrowed the list down to a few candidates and then started reaching out. One only did virtual appointments, which I didn’t want, so I crossed them off. Another had just raised their price outside of what I was comfortable with, so I crossed him off as well. When I finally booked an initial appointment with someone, it had probably been a month since I started looking. That first appointment went well, but it was a bit overwhelming for me. I simply wasn’t used to those kinds of probing and vulnerable conversations. I didn’t go back to see him for another month. Not because I didn’t like him, but because I needed to ease into it over time. Again, it’s all about slow, continuous, incremental improvement.
Another example from my own life was when I realized that God did not control the amount of money I would make—I did—and therefore started taking slow, incremental steps toward building additional income streams.
Yet another was when I decided to incorporate meditation into my morning routine. I started with five minutes and added an additional minute to my timer every day. Slow, incremental improvement. Had I tried to meditate for an hour on my first attempt, I likely would’ve just given up.
I do believe a healthy time period of improvement is needed after a painful deconstruction and deconversion from religion. This can be hard, but at the same time also very exciting—you finally get to build the life you were always meant to live rather than the one that was handed to you by your church or pastor.
I understand things can be very overwhelming amidst the pain and anger of losing your religion, which is why keeping in mind the Kaizen approach to continuous, incremental improvement is, in my opinion, the best way to achieve success.