March 22, 2021
One of the frustrating things about the Church, Church culture, and Christianity in general is that it often gets a lot of things right but with a wrong execution.
One of those things is “quiet time.”
If you’re not familiar, quiet time is an idea pushed in many modern Christian circles. It’s supposed to be a daily devotional time where you sit still and just “be” with God. You can pray, journal, or read your Bible.
As with most other things, the struggle to develop a regular quiet time is a huge source of guilt and shame for many Christians. I know it was for me during my time in the Church. Back then I was a college student, and like most college students, I was extremely busy. Between class, studying, homework, my social life, and volunteering at the church, my time was very limited. I was also far less likely to intentionally wake up earlier than I had to in order to actually squeeze in a quiet time (which is what most of my pastors suggested I do).
But I’ve since drastically changed my tune on quiet time. I think it’s something that everyone should prioritize. However, it should be done correctly, which is not how the Church teaches it should be done.
Christians miss the huge opportunities of quiet time because they distract themselves with nonsense that isn’t going to help them. Reading the Bible or some flowery devotional book is not the best way to get the most out of your quiet time.
So how do you get the most out of your daily quiet time?
By engaging in contemplation.
I think contemplation is a criminally overlooked mode of thinking. It’s not entirely our fault. The modern school system has done much to beat the habit of contemplation out of us.
Contemplation is a unique mixture of daydreaming and imagination. Both of those modes of thought were discouraged in school. If you were caught daydreaming, the teacher snapped you back into focused attention to whatever she was droning on about. If you were a child that often came up with a lot of fanciful ideas, then you may have been told that you had an “overactive imagination.” Over time, this may have reinforced in you the belief that imagination was a waste of time and that you needed to keep your thinking grounded in reality.
When you spend time in contemplation, you’re allowing your brain to enter an unfocused mode. Learning expert Barbara Oakley calls this brain state the “diffuse mode.” When you’re in the diffuse mode, you’re not focused on anything and your brain has an opportunity to process all the ideas that are swimming together inside it.
The true value of this is when your brain connects the dots between a new idea and an old idea, forming an insight. Everyone has experienced this phenomenon before. It’s commonly called a “shower thought.” You suddenly get a flash of brilliance seemingly out of nowhere. Maybe you thought of a solution to a problem. Maybe you suddenly came up with a new and better execution for a task at work you’ve been stuck on. Maybe you got a great idea for an art project.
“Shower thoughts” are not confined to the shower. They can happen anytime your brain slips into the diffuse mode. This happens when you’re doing something relatively simple and repetitive that doesn’t require much focus. Here are some examples:
- Driving the same route to work that you drive every day
- Washing the dishes
- Cleaning the house
Many people think that reading a nonfiction book counts as a quiet time. It does not. Why? Because your brain is in a focused mode, absorbing new information. Contemplation and the diffuse mode is all about working with ideas you already have, not gaining new ones.
Meditation is also not a quiet time. It may seem strange to hear this because what could be more quiet than a meditation session? Well, meditation is once again all about focus. You’re focused on your breathing or on a point in your body. When thoughts come into your head, you make an effort to chase them away. Chasing thoughts away is not the goal of contemplation.
These days, my favorite way to have a quiet time is to go for a walk. I’ll usually do it at sunset and in a location where there aren’t many other people around. If I listen to music, it’s always calming meditative music.
And I’ll just stroll. I’ll daydream. I’ll let my imagination take over. I’ll let my brain unwind and allow the thoughts to flow wherever they will.
I get it. It’s hard to find moments to do things like a quiet time. There’s so much you’ve been told to do, especially if you’re in the process of deconstructing your faith. You’ve been told to read more books. You’ve been told you should meditate. And now here I am, telling you to have a quiet time where you engage in contemplation. All this stuff adds up in our busy lives.
I understand. But please try it. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised by what a quiet time dedicated to diffuse mode contemplation can do for you.
What about you? Did you boot your quiet time after you left religion? Or do you still have one that resembles mine? Let me know in the comments!