January 25, 2021
This article is part of an ongoing series where I break down the 7 life areas and give examples of how religion damages them. Deconverting is more than simply ceasing to believe in dogma; it’s about clearing away the Church’s leftover teachings from all aspects of your life.
In this article, I’ll discuss three ways that fundamentalist religion damages your spirituality.
1. You’re led to believe that religion and spirituality are the same.
Religion is not the same as spirituality. Hell, even some atheists and agnostics miss this point.
Religion is all about rules. Do this. Don’t do that. Worship this god. Worship him in this certain way. Do these rituals on these certain days. Etc.
There is absolutely nothing spiritual about following a bunch of rules.
- Following all the rules in your high school classroom so you don’t get detention doesn’t make you spiritual.
- Following all the rules at your job so you don’t disappoint your boss doesn’t make you spiritual.
- Following all the laws of your government doesn’t make you spiritual.
Spirituality is quite the reverse. It’s a freeing of your mind and body from dogma and needless authorities—even those that you imposed on yourself.
Religions—Christianity included—want you to believe that religion and spirituality are one in the same. They don’t care how “spiritual” you consider yourself as long as you continue following all of their rules and never step out of line.
True spirituality can be found once those sources of control are identified and removed from your life.
2. Your curiosity is crushed.
A healthy spirituality is about being curious. To take that further, I posit that one of the key components to a happy and free life that is well-lived is to never stop embracing your curiosity.
People caught up in the folds of religion have no curiosity. All the answers to the great questions of life are handed to them by their dogma:
- Where did the universe come from?
- What happens to us after we die?
- What is the best way to live?
If you’re a Deconverted Man, or even if you’re just beginning to question your faith, there’s really no way you can deny that your curiosity brought you to that point.
- Maybe you began to wonder about the true history of the Biblical manuscripts.
- Maybe you began to wonder why the Bible has so many errors and contradictions.
- Maybe you began to wonder why your prayers never seem to get answered.
That curiosity is what drove you be begin acquiring new knowledge and ask different questions.
All Deconverted Men went through a period of extreme curiosity where they deconstructed their religious beliefs and did tons of research about their religion. This is why religion hates curiosity and claims to give you all the answers.
Religion doesn’t want people to begin thinking and researching for themselves. They know that only a small amount of research is all it takes to knock down the house of cards.
3. After you leave religion, you may avoid spirituality altogether.
This is another byproduct of believing that religion and spirituality are the same thing. You were taught that believing and behaving well within your religion made you “spiritual.” Therefore, after you deconvert, you want nothing to do with religion OR spirituality.
I get it. I understand that point of view. I landed there myself after my own deconversion. After all, your religion taught you to believe a bunch of stuff that wasn’t true. The last thing you want to do is start messing around with a bunch of “spiritual, woo-woo nonsense.”
I’d encourage you to revisit this stance from time to time. Remember what I said about curiosity. One thing fundamentalist Christians and hardcore atheists have in common is that neither of them embrace much curiosity. Christians get all their answers from their religious texts while hardcore atheists get all their answers from cold, hard science.
A healthy, well-grounded spirituality allows you to ask “what if” questions—even those that have not been explained by science (yet). It’s a way to add a little bit of flavor and wonder back into your life.
What I’ve noticed is that hardcore atheists—particularly those that landed there after their deconversion—are as steadfastly opposed to questioning cold, hard science as they once were questioning God. It’s as if they’ve traded one authority over their lives for another. Remember what I said earlier—a healthy spirituality is about freedom and removing needless authority over your life and thoughts.
Do any of these points describe you during your time in fundamentalism? Or maybe it was something that I didn’t mention here? Let me know in the comments!