April 4, 2022
I think men are pretty great. After all, I’ve dedicated an entire blog and my book to them.
Spend five minutes on any social media platform and it won’t take long for you to find some man-bashing. It’s pretty popular these days. Sure, a lot of people who participate in man-bashing online will quickly say they don’t mean “all men” but there’s a fair share of people who, reading between the lines of what they post, you can definitely tell they mean “all men.”
To be fair, there are many men who deserve some bashing. They’ve done some terrible things because their masculine energy is way out of balance. But also to be fair, most men mind their own business, are courteous, polite, and don’t want to harm anyone—only to log into their social media accounts to find people eviscerating men which may or may not include them.
Men are great for many reasons, but today I’ll talk about one of the biggest, and it’s this: In general, men are very willing to bear a burden so that others don’t have to.
I can’t explain it and I don’t know what it is, but this is a powerful trait of masculine energy, of which most men have a dominance of. It’s a drive to be the hero and to self sacrifice so that someone else doesn’t have to.
- We see this in war. Men are, generally speaking, willing to go to war and possibly die so that others in their own country do not have to do the same.
- We see this in the workplace. Men are, generally speaking, willing to take on more than they know they can bear simply because they want to help out their team, their company, or their boss.
- We see this in the family. Men are, generally speaking, willing to take on all the jobs that men are traditionally “supposed” to do—such as fixing things, building things, or earning the money—so that others don’t have to.
- We this in relationships. Men are, generally speaking, willing to go the extra mile for a partner he really cares about just to let her know that he cares. He usually expresses this in “acts of kindness” because that means he gets to perform a task for her in order to take something off her plate when she’s busy.
- We see this in male social circles. Men are, generally speaking, willing to play the hero among their friends in order to ease the burden of the group. This is often the easiest avenue for men to do this because, since they’re in a group of men, they have a reasonable expectation that their buddies will in turn make a similar sacrifice that he will benefit from. It all “comes out in the wash” eventually.
While this is a good trait, this also unfortunately leaves men open to being taken advantage of.
This leaves men vulnerable to being taken advantage of in relationships. We all have a friend or two who starts dating a girl and, since he likes her, immediately clicks into this mode where he does things for her to make her life easier and more comfortable. This girl then proceeds to not give much in return, and the whole thing becomes wildly out of balance.
You can also find men being taken advantage of at work. Sometimes, a man has a boss who is, for his own profit and gain, very willing to take advantage of that man’s natural capacity to self sacrifice and be the hero.
You can also find men being taken advantage of in male social circles. Some friends just take and take and take never give back. Some men are so used to giving, are so naturally inclined to do so, that they just can’t say so. Even when it’s pointed out to him that he’s being taken advantage of, he may nod and agree intellectually, but it just feels wrong for him to say no and not lay himself down for the greater good of the group.
So while I think this is one of the best qualities of men, it pains me to admit that this great quality can be taken advantage of in many different ways. I’ve seen numerous examples of all of the above. As always, the key is balance—always being willing to self sacrifice for the betterment of others and the group, but also being aware when too much of you is being asked and to have an awareness of when you are being taken advantage of.