Reading books was invaluable during my deconstruction. Finally exposing myself to new ideas opened my eyes to the greater truth of religion and the world.
There are a handful of books I see recommended over and over in the deconstruction community. These books are repeatedly recommended for very good reason—they are fantastic resources that everyone who is deconstructing their faith should read.
Here, I’ve created a list of books that aren’t specifically about religion and faith deconstruction, but still helped me immensely with the process. I think they’ll help you too.
I’ve written before that—on a practical level—losing your religion has the potential to damage your 7 life areas. I’ve separated these books out according to the 7 life areas so you can easily jump to the area of your life that you’re looking to improve after your deconversion.
You can read these books for free by borrowing them from your local library. However, if you choose to purchase them through the links below, you’ll be supporting this site at no additional cost to you.
Money
The Millionaire Fastlane by M.J. DeMarco
I avoided reading The Millionaire Fastlane for so long because of the scammy-sounding title and the ridiculous cover with a picture of a Lamborghini (which has since been changed, thankfully) but in hindsight, I definitely wish I’d read it sooner. The book drops the no-nonsense truth about money, how to view it, and how to make more of it—teachings that are literally the opposite of what you learn from the Church.
Unscripted is a continuation of DeMarco’s previous book and is massively valuable for its straightforward lessons on entrepreneurship and business for the modern era. If you’re interested in increasing your income and adding more income sources to your life after a lifetime of being told that “the love of money is the root of all evil” then this is the book for you.
Health
Starting Strength by Mark Rippetoe
This is a fantastic guide for anyone just beginning their strength building journey. It focuses on full body strength workouts using the compound lifts: squat, deadlift, bench press, row, and overhead press. It’s simple (yet not easy) and the prescribed workout plan will have you in and out of the gym quickly while making linear, beginner gains.
The 4 Hour Body by Tim Ferriss
This book dives far deeper than Starting Strength and addresses many other areas of your overall health. Especially valuable is an entire chapter about optimizing testosterone, which is hugely beneficial and something I see overlooked almost everywhere else. This book also addresses your sexual health, which is another thing commonly overlooked.
Tim Ferriss is known for “hacking” and “optimizing” so his goal here is to help you make efficient improvements in your health rapidly and in the shortest amount of time possible. I find it to be a valuable guide.
It’s a long book and not meant to be read cover to cover. Rather, check the table of contents to find what applies to you and your goals, then read those chapters, and then implement what it says.
How to Eat, Move, and Be Healthy by Paul Chek
This is a great resource for overall holistic health. I suspect it won’t be for everyone, but it does a great job of demonstrating how your workouts, body type, quality of food, sleep, stress levels, stretching, and even your meditation practice all work together to influence your overall health and wellbeing.
Family
I’m still searching for some good books on family from a post-religion perspective. Send me a message and recommend one to me!
Social Life
How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie
The oft-recommended classic for building new relationships both personal and professional. If you haven’t read it by now, what are you waiting for?
Hobbies
The War of Art by Steven Pressfield
This short book can be read in a day and should be reread often by any writer, creative, or artist.
Pressfield’s analysis of “Resistance” is immediately identifiable by any creative. This book is a thoughtful celebration of the creative spirit while simultaneously being the kick in the ass that many creative people need to get started bringing their ideas into the world.
Relationships
The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida
Deida has written a very readable guide to help men grow up and become the masculine rock that many are looking for in a partner.
This book paints a picture of masculinity as it should be rather than what many people think it is—a calm, assured energy that seeks to create, achieve, preserve order, and exhibit love at all times.
Spirituality
This book is a transcription of many talks that De Mello gave on the topic of awareness. It simply blew my mind by how simple it seems, yet is so profound. They just don’t teach this stuff when growing up, and they should. They definitely don’t teach it in Church.
If your life isn’t what you’d like it to be, first seek awareness. Calmly and objectively observe what’s going on around you: how you’re behaving, reacting, thinking, and feeling. Only once you’re aware can you take control. This book will show you how it’s done.